Cruise Diary + Computer humour

 

Cruise Diary

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.

Our local Women's Guild decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4

Won £800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.

Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.

Twice.

Computer humour

Finally a computer setting I understand. 

WATCH THIS - YOU'LL LIKE IT...........Fw: sleepy animals

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=VRgQaOOZRo4

CLICK ON THE DOG!

Millards Guest House Brighton & Hove Situated a 3-minute walk from Brighton Pier and the vibrant seafront, Millards Guest House offers rooms with free Wi-Fi. The extraordinary Royal Pavillion is 7 minutes’ walk from the property. More Latest booking: 4 hours ago

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Irish Virginity Test Kit

Canal Boat Holiday

Fabulous, 8.7 Score from 8 reviews

Wendy's Houseboat

Amsterdam City Centre, Amsterdam river boats

This authentic houseboat is located on the Keizersgracht.
 It has 2 bedrooms, a living room, and a modern kitchen.
 Free Wi-Fi is available. Lively Noordermarkt is less than 5 minutes’ walk away.
  More

The New Irish Virginity Test Kit

 

House of ill repute

See if you can work this out:

There was a brothel at the top of a hill, with a large red light at the bottom of the hill..

There were four men ....

One was walking briskly up the hill;

One was inside the brothel;

One was walking slowly down the hill and

The fourth man was sitting in his car at the bottom of the hill.

What were the nationalities of the four men?

* The man going up the hill: was Rushin

* The man in the brothel: Him-a-layin

* The man walking down the hill: was Finish

Now wait for it ..

Ya gonna love this ............................................

* The man in the car at the bottom was Irish, and he was waiting for the light to turn green!

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

  There's no way those are her real fingernails ...

 

Click into this. So cute wanted to keep him.

How to amuse people, especially retired people !!http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/5/3970/3970473_sprite198.swf 

 

 

WARNING ! 

THIS GRAPHIC PICTURE IS OF A MAN WITH JUST SECONDS
LEFT TO LIVE  (FRIGHTENING)

JUST SECONDS  BEFORE  DEATH BOATING INCIDENT  (CHILLING)

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Canal Boat Holiday

Fabulous, 8.7 Score from 8 reviews

Wendy's Houseboat

Amsterdam City Centre, Amsterdam river boats

This authentic houseboat is located on the Keizersgracht. It has 2 bedrooms, a living room, and a modern kitchen. Free Wi-Fi is available. Lively Noordermarkt is less than 5 minutes’ walk away. More

 

 Canal River Boats River Vacations In Amsterdam