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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Cruise Diary + Computer humour


 

Cruise Diary


DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.

Our local Women's Guild decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4

Won £800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.

Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.

Twice.

Computer humour

Finally a computer setting I understand. 

















WATCH THIS - YOU'LL LIKE IT...........Fw: sleepy animals




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Millards Guest House

Millards Guest House

Brighton & Hove
Situated a 3-minute walk from Brighton Pier and the vibrant seafront, Millards Guest House offers rooms with free Wi-Fi. The extraordinary Royal Pavillion is 7 minutes’ walk from the property. More
Latest booking: 4 hours ago


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'