There is no such thing as a free lunch.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

After being married for 53 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty-three years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $1,000,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 75-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!

Stress 

A blonde was mowing the lawn in her garden and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat that was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Marks & Spencers!

Why Marks & Spencers??

HELLOOOOOOOOO!

Marks & Spencers is the largest re-tailer 

in the U.K. !!!